Getting students transitioned to digital distance learning took a lot of time. As much as I was hoping to originally get my kid out of my belly over my Spring Break, once we had a digital return date of his due date I decided it would be better if I waited till the weekend. As it turned out, the little one had the same idea!
I woke up at around 2:30 in the morning with contractions. Everyone said “you’ll know” and they weren’t lying. Horrible period cramps. Survivable but NOT comfortable. I typically have bad menstrual cramps but I take ibuprofen for them… you can’t take much for contractions. At about 3:45 tossing and turning in bed was no longer comfortable so I decided to just get up. We had stayed up late playing games with a couple of friends/family online and I was hoping for a little extra sleep but that wasn’t in the cards.
We had been told to do things to release oxytocin to help with contractions and dilation and all that. Do things that make you happy and comfortable. So shower it was! I decided to take a nice long, hot shower. Washed my hair. Used some sugar scrub that smells delicious. Shave my legs. (Cause I didn’t want to just stand there and focus on the pain and why not? They could use it!)
After my shower it seemed that contractions were happening pretty frequently. I wasn’t watching the clock so I decided after getting dressed that it was probably time to wake up the husband. He had wanted to shower before bed but we stayed up late and if it was going to be a big day he would want a shower. So I woke him up at about 4:30 and let him know he needed to shower then probably start timing things.
We then spent time chilling in the living room, watching TV. Contractions were coming pretty regularly and were getting to be closer together. We were told that we would need to go to the birth center when they were 3-1-1; three minutes apart, lasting for a minute, for an hour. But to also give some warning to the midwife on call so they can get there too. Things seemed to be moving quickly so around 6:30 we called to let them know I was in labor and contractions were at about a 6-1-1. I was told ok, stay comfortable, eat, drink, and try to rest. Keep in touch.
At about 10:00 we were at 3-1-1! Go time people! So we called. They said come in. Things are getting real! So we pack up the car. We head to the birth center. Midwife is there. Let’s do this!
She checks all my vitals and gets things ready. It is time to check my cervix and…. drum roll please… 80% effaced and THREE centimeters dilated.
Just three.
Side note: Getting your cervix checked is NOT fun.
So she sent us back home to rest and progress. Every bump and speed bump on the way home made life more uncomfortable. Getting comfortable was not really an option. The midwife had recommended a bath and a nap but I wasn’t feeling the bath part. I decided to lay down in bed and try to nap. I’m not sure how long I stayed there but it felt like my contractions had suddenly become constant. There was no napping. So I moved back to the reclining couch. My hopes of having a short, fast labor were decreasing… but little did I know what would happen.
I dozed on and off the best I could. We ate lunch. I kept drinking water which meant I kept peeing constantly. Resting isn’t easy when you’re having severe cramping of your uterus, making sure you’re drinking enough, trying to eat, and having to pee all the time. At some point the pains switched from being a tightness across the lower front abdomen to being like a hammock from one hip to the other. That’s the only way I can think to describe it. They were definitely NOT as comfortable and I was getting over it.
We started timing them again and they were coming pretty regularly. So we called again around 5:00pm and I said I wanted to go into the birth center. I had no clue what was happening and I was still afraid it would be a fast birth. As much as I wanted an easy “car baby” I wanted it to wait till we were at the birth center! I also, did NOT want these new contractions to happen with the car ride… Especially if they’re just going to get worse.
So we went in and they checked and I was SEVEN centimeters dilated! Yay! So we tried the tub out. That was way more relaxing than I expected. I’m not sure our tub would have been, but theirs sure was. I could easily just lay over the side and it was very comfortable. The most comfortable position though was sitting backwards on the toilet. Plus then I wasn’t as worried about all the stuff that would run out of me. (The sis wasn’t lying when she was in labor and said she just felt like stuff was running out of her constantly.) After hanging in the tub and on the toilet for what seemed an eternity (could have been… I didn’t look at the clock much) and feeling like my hips were trying to fall apart we checked the cervix again and I was NINE centimeters! Super close! Come on kid!
After awhile things felt way different and the midwife wanted me to start pushing with contractions. It was about 10:00pm and I was ready to get the pain over! Nothing hurt worse than the “hammock contractions” and my hips trying to fall apart. Time for the kid to just slide right out? Nope…
45 min-ish of pushing and NOTHING was changing. So they checked my cervix which I assured them was already fully dilated and we didn’t need to check… (Did I mention it hurts?) She didn’t believe me. Turns out I had an anterior lip. So we wait a few more contractions… Nothing changes. So she says “With the next one I’m going to reach in and slip it over baby’s head.” Umm… yeah… I thought checking my cervix was uncomfortable? Nope, that was worse! And then she was upset with me for practically standing up off the birthing stool when she did it!
So we pushed and pushed.
And pushed some more.
Pushing on the birthing stool was the easiest position. Pushing on my back on the bed was the WORST position. Glad I didn’t opt for a hospital birth where it seems that is the most desired delivery position. We used the hammock from the ceiling for me to hold on to. After forever of pushing (like 3 hours) they decided I needed to get the kid out and we needed some interventions.
We tried an herb mix to try and increase contractions. It was a drinkable liquid and not horrible tasting but not something I’d want to drink.
We also tried nipple stimulation!
Let’s just say the last thing you want while trying to push a kid out is being hooked to a breast pump in 10 minute intervals! THAT was annoying.
Then it got real. They came at me with an IV!
Well, they told me it was coming and I did NOT want it so I asked why. It had been a lot of pushing and if they couldn’t start to get more progress they were going to have to transfer me to the hospital where an IV would be required. The hospital would be able to give me Pitocin to help the contractions. Plus, if they needed to give me glucose for energy they needed the line ready. Things started to get a little more urgent when you’re talking transfer… so what can I do to avoid it?!
I needed more and stronger contractions and we needed to get the kid out… ASAP. Heart rate seemed to be doing fine on the doppler but they weren’t sure how much more the kid would take.
So they made the calls. I had about 13 minutes to get the kid out if I didn’t want to go to the hospital where they would give me pitocin to speed things along. I did NOT want that.
We tried standing and squatting with contractions but my legs were toast by this point. There was nothing left. I couldn’t lift my own leg to grab behind my knee when I was laying on the bed. I was getting exhausted. But the kid moved! Just didn’t come out.
Eventually the ambulance arrived and I had to get myself onto the stretcher to go. Laying on the stretcher was definitely NOT comfortable with all the swelling that had happened already and a kid’s head in the birth canal. They had me ride on my side where I grasped the edge of the mat or the bar just below it the entire time. You can bet I held on to that thing for dear life.
Thanks to the chaos of the world, only one person was allowed to ride with me in the ambulance. The midwife wasn’t going to leave my side in case the kid decided to show up. Apparently I was close enough for her to worry? (But how cool to say the kid came out DURING the ride?! Plus then it would be OUT!) Hubby would have to follow in the car. They loaded me up and whipped out of the parking lot.
Apparently I scared Douglas the EMT (he told me if it was a boy that it was a good name because it was his. Ethan was the driver… the weird things you remember) because he told the driver to do “a little less emergent driving” after I didn’t handle the whipping the corner so well. I proceeded to lay on my side and hold on like my life depended on it. Then came a contraction…
All I could do was say “Help!” and reach out for the midwife. She gave me her arm to hold and helped me lift my leg to bear down. No baby. After the first contraction Douglas was concerned and said they could pull over if needed for the next one. I think the midwife told him we just needed to get to the hospital.
Hubby who was a champ through all of this and was there holding me, supporting me, cheering me on, all of it… informed me later that we were doing maybe 40mph down the interstate. I guess that’s what you get with “less emergent driving”. Poor guy has probably been traumatized from his side of the whole experience. BUT, he survived too and I am grateful he was there with me for all of it.
Two more contractions happened in the ambulance but still no kid. The midwife told me that she had been thinking it was a girl this whole time but now maybe it was a boy because he wanted an ambulance ride before he made his appearance. Me, at this point, well since like two hours before this point, just wanted the kid OUT! Boy or girl I didn’t care I was just DONE!
We made it to the hospital. Labor and delivery were waiting for me. They wheeled me straight up to a room that was ready and waiting. I had to transfer from stretcher to bed on my own… ugh. The midwife yet again told me to just make the decision to move and go for it. Way easier said than done when your pelvis is splitting and there is a baby stuck in your crotch!
While transferring from stretcher to bed, another contraction cane so I just did what I had been, squatted and pushed.
No kid. Which was good because hubby hadn’t made it to the room yet. But, if the kid wanted out without him there then so be it, I wanted it out.
I got in the bed and action happened. I’m not even sure what all happened or how long any of it took. Everyone, and there were a lot of people it seemed, jumped into action!
They strapped monitors to me without even asking. The monitors are SOOOO annoying and the heart rate one was so low on my belly I’m pretty sure it triggered more contractions. I’m glad I didn’t have to go through the whole labor with the stupid things on. The other monitor, for contractions, kept moving and I guess they decided quickly that it wasn’t needed? It was undone pretty soon after it was put on. Definitely reaffirmed one of the reasons I wanted the birth center over a hospital birth. I liked using the doppler periodically instead.
Fluids were hooked up to the IV line. Glad that had already been taken care of before all this! I would not have handled someone holding me down to get the line started and by this time it would have taken holding me down to get it done. I was VERY uncomfortable and holding completely still wasn’t easy.
They broke down the bed and had me scoot down. At some point hubby showed up in the room. He came and held my hand and only made eye contact with me. I didn’t blame him. He had seen a lot already. I had the mindset where I just wanted to stare back at him and let someone else deal with all the stuff happening. I’m pretty sure had someone said c-section at this time I would have been jumping for joy. I cannot express how DONE I was.
Another contraction came. I pushed. Everyone got really excited!
Next contraction I needed to push hard. There was still a flurry of commotion around me doing I don’t know what. Then an oxygen mask was put on my face and I was told to breathe. Apparently baby’s oxygen level was falling? We needed the kid out now. If I wanted to see one nurse told me to look at the mirror on the ceiling. I had no idea what she was talking about, I could see no mirror, just two fancy lights built into the ceiling.
Next contraction came and the baby was crowning! I was losing the contraction but hadn’t come this far to stop! Midwife said “You’re going to need an episiotomy, sorry, gotta get the kid out!” I thought “No, that sucks” and “Whatever… Just get the kid OUT!” all at the same time.
I pushed. She cut. Kid popped out! Huge gush and release of pressure. I felt a million times better!!! They flopped him on my chest and started to clean him off. All the ladies told hubby to see what it was and…
**insert drumroll for a moment that had been building for 40 weeks…**
It is a BOY!
Wait, what?! I was 98% sure I saw nothing there on the ultrasound. Meh, I also didn’t know what 40% of the stuff I was seeing on the ultrasound was.
No time for any sort of disappointment because I was just so glad to have my boy out of me and be done. He was also apparently pooping all over. They went through every blanket they had in the room cleaning him, and me, from all the poop. We went ahead and skipped the black tar like poop and most of the transitional poop within the first five minutes outside of the womb. Hubby has had a fear of a diaper blowout and apparently Little Man did the blowout without the diaper.
I wasn’t done…
My placenta wasn’t wanting to come out.
Midwife asked how much pitocin I had been given and turns out they didn’t give me any! They didn’t have time! So I got the pitocin to help the placenta. The cord stopped pulsing and was ready to be cut so hubby cut the cord. He was hesitant at first but if you know him and the kind of trauma he had already endured from the whole process, you would understand. It was a lot for me and I felt somewhat prepared. Any support person would hesitate after experiencing all that, especially if it meant focusing on all the blood and goo.
The midwife waited for the meds and tugged to see if it had detached yet but nope… So she was going to have to go in and get the placenta manually. DRUGS!
DRUGS PLEASE! There would be NO manual extraction without drugs. Learned from a lady in our birthing class that it would entail a hand needing to go in the exit route that had just been traumatized. Drugs. I would need those!
So once the drugs kicked in the process of manually extracting the placenta was still not very pleasant. Then they pushed on my uterus and there was a giant gush of blood and fluid. I’m not sure if that was my hemorrhage or not but somewhere through all of this they said I had a slight hemorrhage with blood loss?
Side Note: Hubby took a photo of the bag of fluids and blood they had after all of this so I could see it. I’m not allowed to add it to the blog… But, I do understand the blood loss piece now! There was a LOT of blood all over.
Then came some local numbing and stitches! Yay! And the cleaning of the area? Umm… let’s just say I made a comment about them using the ROUGHEST cloth to pat dry with! The nurse responded with, “Sorry, our hospital doesn’t believe in fabric softener because then the admin could only take two vacations a year instead of three.” I liked her! I also finally discovered the mirror on the ceiling! I think before I was at the wrong angle to see anything but now was torn between wanting to watch everything and not wanting to see the needle poking me. I did watch a few stitches though!
After all was said and done, I delivered our baby boy drug free! I survived!
… and then asked for all the meds.
We went for our first ambulance ride! I was hooked to monitors. I was sort of forced to birth on my back. I was given an episiotomy. I had to have assistance getting the placenta out. I hemorrhaged. The whole process took forever. It was NOT the birth experience I hoped for (short, simple, easy) but it got us the same desired result (a healthy baby). And man is he a CUTE baby!
After a day and a half in the hospital we were able to head home and begin the journey of learning about each other and growing as a family. It is a day by day process.
**Update** I was brave enough to ask some questions and learned more about Little Man’s delivery at my 6 week appointment. I had a mediolateral episiotomy that is less likely to result in a lot of tearing. I did have a stage 2 tear though. Of the 600+ babies the midwife has caught I was her 4th episiotomy! I’m not sure if I should be impressed or scared but hey, apparently it was REALLY needed. She said that with the last contraction Little Man’s heart rate plummeted and the nurses were beginning to panic and he needed to be out. Also, they could have handled the placenta not wanting to come out at the birth center… I would have had to experience it all without drugs though. THANKFUL for that transfer for sure now!
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