Do you ever deal with Debbie Downers? Why can some people never be happy or be happy for others?
This comes out when you’re pregnant for sure. There are always people who will tell you everything you don’t care to hear. I’ve been told:
“Oh no, you WILL get an episiotomy! They won’t even tell you.”
“You know there’s no award for doing it without drugs, right?”
“Yeah, you’re not going to handle labor well.”
And too many “Just wait till… ” that I can’t even keep track.
I let them roll off my back because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT! Nobody can know what is going to happen when this kid pops out. The only thing you can plan on is that everything you plan will change. But more importantly, when did we stop supporting others?!
When did we start picking at people’s happiness instead of offering encouraging words? I was listening to a podcast (The Goal Digger) and she mentioned that it takes courage to do what others don’t. Does our intimidation of others’ courage cause us to try and break them down?
I chose to see a midwife and birth at a birth center because I want to take a more informed choice approach. They don’t do things routinely that a hospital would. I like that. I like letting information guide my choices and not just follow the status quo. So no, they won’t automatically give me an episiotomy. They actually rarely do them! And even so rates have dropped from 60-80% to 25% after studies show they can cause worse damage than natural tearing.
I chose a place that an epidural isn’t an option because I don’t want that thing in my spine. I don’t even care about the side effects or possible issues later. I don’t want something in my spine. It’s as simple as that. I’ve read stories of being pressured to get one and I picked birthing people who will encourage me instead of tell me I should give in. I know if they tell me I need to transfer for intervention or drugs that they really mean it.
So far I’m optimistic about the labor itself. I’m dreading the recovery more than anything else. All the fun healing and swelling and pain just doesn’t seem appealing. The labor part I’m kind of excited to see how I do handle it. And I told my hubby that if I get to the point of asking for drugs I’ll more than likely just be asking for a c-section.
So here’s the deal, I support you in all you’re reaching for. If you need someone to offer words of support, I’m your gal! If you need a dark cloud to just hover over your joy, find that negative person and have a conversation. In the meantime, you do you and maybe keep the negative people in your thoughts because chances are something in their life, not you, is preventing them from being happy.