Today I was summoned for jury duty. I haven’t been dismissed yet so I can’t really talk about it but I do have to say it is an interesting process. I don’t ever remember learning about how the whole jury system works except you get summoned, you show up, it’s a waste of time and nobody wants to do it, and you either get selected or you don’t. While waiting for everyone to show up before the whole thing started I was thinking about it and if I were the one on trial I wouldn’t want grumpy people who don’t want to be there making decisions about me! So I chose to embrace the adventure and learned quite a bit. We shall see what happens.
After that was done for the day I had some lunch and took a nap. Sitting all morning is tiring. After that it was time to do another load of baby laundry. This time I washed all the new clothes and such we revived at our shower. I REALLY gotta work on thank you cards… While they washed the pup and I went for a walk.
I also think I realized why not being able to do anything has been getting to me. During my lunch/nap break I turned the tv on to something I would be ok sleeping through, My 600 lb Life. I used to watch this show when it was newer. The people always talk about how the weight creeps on and then they wake up and are 600+ lbs. I can totally relate to a lot of their stories about loving food and emotional eating so I set a weight I never wanted to reach. If I did I told myself I would do what was needed to stay under it.
A few years ago I was 20lbs under that weight and picked up running again. Kept gaining. So I joined CrossFit. Gained a couple more pounds. Came SO CLOSE to the weight I was scared of! Then through a series of events friendships changed and the weight just started falling off. Emotions and feelings can play a huge role!
Then I got pregnant. The nausea meant I HAD to eat. It also meant I’d eat almost anything that sounded good because not a lot sounded good. I gained weight at the normal pace if not a little slower. Baby’s growth is on target. I switched to eating healthier and thankfully I don’t have to eat every two hours but I do still have to eat pretty regularly. But, I’m also 10-15 lbs over the weight I swore I would never reach.
Watching the lady on the tv show try to move around, walk, get in a car, and just attempt to do simple daily tasks, I feel like that! Not to the same extreme but I can’t to simple tasks that used to be easy and I hate it! I keep focusing on the fact that I have 3 weeks left till I’m due, and it will all be worth the adorable baby (right?), but in some moments it is hard to accept I have gained 45-50 lbs and can’t do much about it.